Funny Quotations for Enjoying Women's Day

Events are scheduled to take place in more than 100 countries around the world on March 8, 2011, to celebrate the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day. In this happy moment, why not enjoy some funny women quotes and don't miss out on Groucho Marx's cunning twist in the quote, "Women should be obscene and not heard."
• What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.
  ~Lord Byron
• One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
  ~Oscar Wilde
• Man has will; but woman has her way.
  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes
• Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
  ~Tim Allen
• When women go wrong, men go right after them.
  ~Mae West
• What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.
  ~Mark Twain
• Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered:What does a woman want?
  ~Sigmund Freud
• When I have one foot in the grave, I will tell the whole truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me and say, 'Do what you like now'.
  ~Leo Tolstoy
• Women should be obscene and not heard.
  ~Groucho Marx
• Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
  ~Charlotte Whitton
• I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine.
  ~Mel Gibson
• A woman is like a tea bag - you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.
  ~Eleanor Roosevelt
• To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
  ~Helen Rowland
• My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being: hitting my head on the top bunk until I faint.
  ~Erma Bombeck
• Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.
  ~Alfred Lord Tennyson
• Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
  ~W. C. Fields
• Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
  ~Friedrich Nietzsche
• I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.
  ~Ogden Nash
• It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily.
  ~Mignon McLaughlin
• A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.
  ~Nancy Reagan
• If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
  ~Aristotle
• I hate women because they always know where things are.
  ~James Thurber
• A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.
  ~Malcolm de Chazal
• Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions.
  ~Jules Michelet
• The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised.
  ~Freya Stark